What I want you to know if you have a fear of sick.
Emetophobia can look different for everybody. Whether you have had it for 2 years or over 30, many behaviours and beliefs vary from person to person, but the common thread is the underlying thinking patterns. It doesn’t matter how your fear might show up, it could be in relation to eating and food, or using public transport. What is important, is that however your life is being impacted by this phobia, you can completely overcome it.
It is never too late.
I do get people who come to me and say “I have had emetophobia for x amount of time” (normally in the region of 5-25 years), and they are concerned that this means they really are ‘too far gone’ and that they are stuck with this fear forever. There is a misunderstanding that emetophobia is a part of your DNA, or somehow hardwired into your brain, and therefore the best you can hope for is to learn to manage with it. Let me say, this is definitely not the case. Just because you have been dealing with this fear for an extended period of time, does not mean it is more engrained and deep rooted, and therefore ‘stuck’ within you. A wonderful lady called Mary overcame her emetophobia at age 81 in under 3 months, after suffering for over 75 years. This really does highlight the fact that no matter how long you have had this phobia you CAN fully get rid of it. There is no such thing as it being too severe or having gone on for too long, that is not how it works. Even if your emetophobia has left you housebound for years, you can completely get your life back, and it does not take long.
Why previous attempts may not have worked.
Taking that brave first step to try and get rid of your emetophobia is hard. There are so many different treatment types and support available. However, sometimes it can feel like the help you are receiving is just not going to cut it. I remember trying multiple different types of therapy, CBT, and even considered exposure therapy, but unfortunately these did not work. This is not the fault of any one person, it is just that emetophobia is not always that well understood. Just talking about your fear, and where you think it came from is not going to help you get rid of it. Although it might feel like it has been caused by some specific event, it was your thinking and mindset around the experience that would have caused you to start creating your fear. When you feel hopeful that the therapy or counselling you are trying is going to mean you get over this fear for good, and then it doesn’t, you naturally feel incredibly disheartened. It just reinforces the fact in your mind: that you are a lost cause and nothing can be done, leaving you feeling powerless. But, this is not anything you have done wrong, nor should you blame the person helping you. It is just that you have not found the most effective, targeted support. A bit like if you are trying on clothes; you find a t-shirt and put it on, but it is too small, and the colour doesn’t suit you. This is not the person who’s made the t-shirt’s fault, neither is it yours, it is simply just the wrong top for you. Therefore, you should feel excited that there is the right help waiting for you. There is evidence-based, specific coaching to ensure you beat your fear for good.
Am I more likely to get sick if I don’t have emetophobia?
For some people, there is a concern that their emetophobia is protecting them from having to face their worst nightmare, that overcoming it will mean they will become more careless, do fewer safety behaviours, and are therefore more likely to get sick. I would like to reassure anybody with this concern.
Overcoming emetophobia does not increase the chances of you getting ill. It does not suddenly mean you are going to be throwing up every other day. Think about the average person without emetophobia, you don’t see most of the general population dealing with sickness any more than you do, do you? There is nothing that you need to protect yourself from, because vomit is not a threat.
You can’t ever be 100% sure that you are never going to be sick. So all of the behaviours and things you do to feel safe are simply a way of gaining control of something that you actually feel really powerless about. It might feel like what you are doing is preventing you from getting ill, but it isn’t. Your emetophobia is not keeping you safe.
When you are completely free from your emetophobia, any anxiety around sickness simply won’t exist anymore. Your safety behaviours will naturally start to feel unnecessary because sick will no longer feel like a danger or something to be feared. All you will be doing is increasing your sense of empowerment in your everyday life, and you will feel more capable and resilient.
So, what do you need to do to overcome your emetophobia?
You learn how to work on your beliefs and thinking patterns that are at the root of your fear. You look at all areas of your mental health, including your self-esteem, desire for control, coping skills, and sense of power. Emetophobia is formed in a similar way to baking a cake. You need just the right amount of different ingredients, and voila, you get a tasty lemon drizzle at the end. With emetophobia, you need a little bit of unhelpful thinking, a high desire for control, a negative inner voice, and so on, and this is what is contributing to your fear.
So, when it comes to getting rid of your fear, you can’t just remove one ingredient and expect it to disappear. You have to work through each element, rebuilding the way you think from the ground up. This is what makes The Thrive Programme so effective, and different from anything else. It’s why you see lasting change rather than just temporary relief.
If you have been struggling with this for a while, this is your chance to take the first step and get your life back. What are you waiting for?